Sunday 8 November 2009
Tuesday 3 November 2009
MRI Scan tomorrow!
Well finally have had a bit more confirmation - I have an MRI scan tomorrow at 5pm, and then I have to ring the ward on Monday morning to find out the time to come in. Hopefully there will not be any argument about beds.
I hate MRI scans. I'd almost rather have the operation twice!! I think I just focus all my nerves to that one thing that is unpleasant in the first place. I know it has to be done, and all that, but its a simple thing to hate without getting totally overwhelmed by it all. I won't allow myself to feel nerves or fear about the other stuff. It all goes in the very big dark cupboard in my mind - not a place to investigate!!
But I have found one, solitary, small pill of valium in the bottom of my drug draw, so that will help! Rescue remedy will not cut the mustard.
I am a bit concerned that its a normal brain MRI though - not a functional one - I guess they know what they are doing but I wonder how they can find the motor cortex parts for my face without anything lighting up or moving? Hey ho.
I have a dog client coming on Friday morning which will be lovely, he's called Barney and he's a special dog.
Niki x
I hate MRI scans. I'd almost rather have the operation twice!! I think I just focus all my nerves to that one thing that is unpleasant in the first place. I know it has to be done, and all that, but its a simple thing to hate without getting totally overwhelmed by it all. I won't allow myself to feel nerves or fear about the other stuff. It all goes in the very big dark cupboard in my mind - not a place to investigate!!
But I have found one, solitary, small pill of valium in the bottom of my drug draw, so that will help! Rescue remedy will not cut the mustard.
I am a bit concerned that its a normal brain MRI though - not a functional one - I guess they know what they are doing but I wonder how they can find the motor cortex parts for my face without anything lighting up or moving? Hey ho.
I have a dog client coming on Friday morning which will be lovely, he's called Barney and he's a special dog.
Niki x
Sunday 1 November 2009
a week and a bit to go....
allegedly anyway!
Things are ok, head been bad some days, and good others. Have done quite a lot in the last few weeks, regardless.
Cirrus has had his full clip and looks smart but holey where he has sores from a bad attack of Sweet itch. Poor man. He's also worrying me with several patches of white line sepparation on his feet which could be a source for an abcsess. He's not been quite sound in front for a week. Beautiful timing of course.
Been going to church which has been interesting. Not sure on the religious stuff, but really enjoy the sense of community, and everyone is so welcoming and sweet. I don't like the Holy Communion thing though, apart from the fact I can't drink the wine, the whole idea is slightly distasteful to me. The idea of sharing a meal with people is nice however, so am ambiguious.
Am nervous. Am nervous that it won't go ahead. Am nervous about the fMRI. Am nervous about the operation. Am nervous about how much things could change in the next 2 weeks. Despite all, I'd rather not die! I wish I could really get on board with the hope, but I'm way to scared to get on that train again - I've been thrown off it so many times by now.
Niki x
Things are ok, head been bad some days, and good others. Have done quite a lot in the last few weeks, regardless.
Cirrus has had his full clip and looks smart but holey where he has sores from a bad attack of Sweet itch. Poor man. He's also worrying me with several patches of white line sepparation on his feet which could be a source for an abcsess. He's not been quite sound in front for a week. Beautiful timing of course.
Been going to church which has been interesting. Not sure on the religious stuff, but really enjoy the sense of community, and everyone is so welcoming and sweet. I don't like the Holy Communion thing though, apart from the fact I can't drink the wine, the whole idea is slightly distasteful to me. The idea of sharing a meal with people is nice however, so am ambiguious.
Am nervous. Am nervous that it won't go ahead. Am nervous about the fMRI. Am nervous about the operation. Am nervous about how much things could change in the next 2 weeks. Despite all, I'd rather not die! I wish I could really get on board with the hope, but I'm way to scared to get on that train again - I've been thrown off it so many times by now.
Niki x
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